Every Day Is Zlatan Day

Espanyol 0-0 Levante. The visitors had to scramble quite a bit to keep their clean sheet in one of the weekend’s two goalless games. Just the way I like it.

Athletic Club 1-0 Sevilla. An ugly goal secured a huge three points for the Iker Muniain-less leones (yes, I am still in mourning over my Basque son’s torn ACL).

Getafe 1-2 Real Madrid. Madrid got goals from two players who never score — Benzema and Cristiano — to beat a now-consistently feisty Getafe (who scored an offside goal). I pity the next big team that goes to the Alfonso Pérez.

Alavés 0-2 Real Sociedad. LA REAL KEPT A CLEAN SHEET! And Mikel Oyarzabal scored. He’s awesome and probably a future Spain star. You should watch him.

Atlético Madrid 1-1 Barcelona. Saúl Ñíguez did that thing he tends to do in big games, but Luis Suárez quite literally silenced the Wanda Metropolitano eight minutes from time. Spoils shared, Barça’s perfect start finished. Atleti probably out of the title race.

Eibar 0-0 Deportivo La Coruña. The beat goes on for two underachieving sides. Potential good news for Eibar though, as coach José Mendilibar’s new 3-5-2 will hopefully stop his side’s defensive bleeding.

Girona 1-2 Villarreal. Cédric Bakambu was a bit forgotten amidst Villarreal’s busy summer of flashy new acquisitions. He’s scored five goals in two games and Javi Calleja’s side are back in the top half. Forgotten no more. Cristhian Stuani’s awesome backheel goal, however, likely will be.

Málaga 0-2 Leganés. Leganés into a European place and tied for the fewest goals conceded in LaLiga. Oh, and don’t worry about Málaga, they’re fine. They can’t score, they can’t defend, and they only have Barça away next.

GAME AND GOAL OF THE WEEKEND ALERT:

Real Betis 3-6 Valencia. This game is my everything. Nine different goalscorers. Valencia’s incredible counterattack blazing to a 4-0 lead before Betis imposed their will and brought it back to 4-3 with less than 10 minutes left. This strike from Gonçalo Guedes, one of the best goals you’ll see this year — which he followed up by racing all the way up the pitch to set up Andreas Pereira’s second half stoppage time golazo. Joel Campbell rising from the dead to lead Betis’ rally. Neto summoning the spirit of Diego Alves to stop Sergio León’s spot kick. Marvelous.

Las Palmas 2-5 Celta Vigo. Iago Aspas played as a striker, and you’ll never guess what happened: he scored a hat trick. Las Palmas boss Pako Ayestarán has lost nine straight games dating back to last season at Valencia; in his 14 games as a coach in LaLiga, his teams have conceded an eye-watering 30 goals.