Chelsea boss José Mourinho took over tweeting duties on @YahooSports on Friday (because, why not? Not like he’s winning trophies). And as you may expect, it was pretty entertaining. Here is the entire Q and A, with comments/snark where applicable:
Abramovich couldn’t buy him a fancier laptop?
I like how he added “this is normal”. Didn’t José get the memo? Special Ones are supposed to make all the right moves all the time! Especially when their striker corps is Demba Ba, Samuel Eto’o, and Fernando Torres!
https://twitter.com/antitikitaka/status/467315449898995712
I BELIEVE YOU MEANT TO SAY “ZLATAN”, JOSÉ.
José @’d the wrong person here. That’s okay, Mou, first day on the job.
Philosophy: “PARK BUS PARK BUS PARK BUS.” Also, who or what exactly is he disagreeing with?
At least he’s honest!
Go figure on the guy asking about cheese, but regardless, Here’s some info on it. Maybe that’s what he had for dinner.
Chelsea supporters are racist, rioting idiots too, José. Go another year without a trophy and see what happens.
Translation: “You’re asking me about the youth players?! I’m loaning them all to Vitesse, what of it?”
Eighteen Chelsea players are set to play in Brazil this summer. So…go Belgium/Brazil/Cameroon/England/Germany/Ghana/Nigeria/Netherlands!
“Be what people want you to be”. Successful? A trophy winner? Sure a lot of supporters would like to see that, all while utilizing proper/entertaining personnel purchased with money from your filthy-rich boss!
These questions, man. Anyway: has José Mourinho converted to digital? What’s in his iTunes library? Should have asked.
I mean, he looks like Sideshow Bob, so it’s possible. Good thing Chelsea don’t have any players named Bart.
Only thought was of this.
Damn it, I was hoping for Ruud Gullit.
https://twitter.com/_connorhay/status/467321661600301056
Code for “Zlatan”, obviously.
Answer the question, José.
Gonna guess it’s less than seven. Maybe. Unless he likes to take out his frustrations after watching his side battle to drab 0-0 draws with Norwich or 0-1 losses at Crystal Pulis.
“Always”?
Aw, but we’re having so much fun! Although we would miss his press conferences.
He wanted to get a dig in on Wenger so bad here…
Give him control of the NYSE next.
On the outside, he’s doing this:
But on the inside? 
https://twitter.com/thomaselgenberg/status/467278411824918528
“Look at all the nationalities with which I can park the bus!”
Acquiring Diego Costa would count as a holiday.
He’ll eat that Portuguese cheese any time of the day.
I knew he predicted Villa’s 1-0 win in March.
Such a kiss-ass.
So that explains Shaun-Wright Phillips!
“DON’T SACK ME, ROMAN!”
Brilliant. Ordinarily, I would avoid a duplicate appearing in my mentions–but not José!
https://twitter.com/DTradgett/status/467361195293675520
THE CHEESE. IT’S THE CHEESE. THE CHEEEEEEEEEEEEESE.
THIS. THIS IS IT. THE DEFINING MOMENT OF JOSÉ MOURINHO’S TAKEOVER OF THE YAHOOSPORTS TWITTER ACCOUNT. I CAN’T BREATHE
A) plural and B) Sir Bobby Robson doesn’t count anymore.
It is at this point that Mourinho begins to tire of the Twitter machine.
I’ll answer that for you: Atlético.
/cryingemojicryingemojicryingemojicryingemojicryingemojicryingemojicryingemoji
Finally, a question Mourinho did not answer, but should have:
Remember this day, for all-time. José Mourinho, one of football’s most unlikable characters, yet one of its most fascinating, decided to have some fun on the internets.
Every Day Is Zlatan Day 